I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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