They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
