i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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