I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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