Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
