A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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