Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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