A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
