i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
