You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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