My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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