He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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