just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
