I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
