this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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