We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She bit a glass in half.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize