you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
