You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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