I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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