We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
