i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
