I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
