if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
