Ambien. No doubt about it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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