After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
