Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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