does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the day after is always just damage control
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
