Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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