i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
