Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
