I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
