Whatcha textin bout Willis?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
