remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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