He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
