I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
