Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
