dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
