So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
of course. lets lasso hookers.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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