Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
