I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
