I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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