Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
