i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
