If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
