i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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