I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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