Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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