Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
foreskin is a definite game changer
We were destined to go to rehab together
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
