i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i drank out of a bidet.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
