Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
